Rupture

This seems like how I felt around about this time. There are other stories I wrote this year, similar things. Have you ever felt this way?

It was a volcano, waiting to erupt in her body.

Her vision was getting blurry. She started to lose her balance. She knew something was terribly wrong, but she didn’t know what it was. It felt like a volcano. It must have been.

Her double vision crept over. She could not walk or write. She couldn’t pick up her mobile. She looked out of the window, trying so hard to see what she could have seen every day. She couldn’t. It vanished, into somewhere that she didn’t know.

She felt scared. Her blood pressure rose. She was angry. She felt rage. Her body curled up, and she couldn’t stop it. She felt a tremendous headache that wouldn't stop. Please, she cried to herself, please, I will lose consciousness!

She lay down on the floor, closed her eyes, tried to regain her breath. Tears ran out of her eyes, across her face, onto the floor. She hugged herself, tight, tried to get her mind away from this volcano, tried to remember joy in her past. Her memory went black. She shuddered, knew that she was going. Now.

She felt taken over by the cold, let go of her hug, felt she was dreaming. Relax, someone said, unknown to her. Breathe deeply, they said. She breathed in, counted, breathed out, counted again. A warm very slowly returned to her body, relaxing her. Her head hurted, her body jumped for every thump, but she slowly controlled it. Very slowly. Pain faded to a low.

She opened her eyes, tears dried on her face. It felt like a volcano. It did. She thought, why? It felt like a very long period that she had laid here, but the wall clock told her the real time. Only 5 minutes. Why? No-one else in her room, only spoken to by her own mind.

She sat up, blinked her eyes, realised that she could see like she always had. Pain was gone, now. She stood up and looked out of the window, looked out at everything that she always saw. With two extras. The man and woman came through the gate, with a letter in the man’s hand. For her. He knocked. She went to the door, opened it slowly. He spoke gently to her, handed the letter to her, waited for her. She already knew what it was. She could understand their uniforms, why they were here.

“Dear Jennifer, I am so sorry to tell you that your mother Andrea was killed in a car accident this morning. I will bring her home. I love you. Tony.”

The black danced around in her memory, in her mind. It was a volcano, waiting to erupt in her body. Her vision was getting blurry. She started to lose her balance. She knew something was terribly wrong, she knew what it was. It felt like a volcano.

She had known this was happening.